Periods, you no longer impress me. I am bleeding from my nethers, WHATEVER. Try something new, uterus. You make chocolate pudding instead of blood, then we’ll talk.
(via persnickety-porcelain)
—
runwhenisayrunfightwhenisayfight:
If you don’t get this reference, you’re too young for tumblr.
are you fucking kidding me pixar puts out a movie ever year a baby would get this reference
it’s not pixar it’s a reference to that time in 1994 when lamps became sentient humanoids
many were lost that day
It was a grim day for mankind. My parents took refuge in a cave and thus saved us from certain death; we lived close to a lamp factory at the time and the surrounding region was utterly devastated in the conflict.
My brother fought one off using only an egg whisk and a pogo stick.
Only 90s kids remember the Lampocalypse
My father still has the scars from where one stole his kidney
Ironically, it was a dark time.
(Source: brennablueskies, via thisurlwasnttakenbutnowitis)
one piece is dumb because they spend 500 episodes looking for one piece when they can just go to kfc and get a 3 piece combo w/ 2 sides for 5.99
the dangerous effects of not wearing a bra
ah yes my spirit animal
total cutie
(Source: growlithed, via thisurlwasnttakenbutnowitis)
(Source: epicbroniestime, via thisurlwasnttakenbutnowitis)
nxv:
I THREW A GRAPE IN THE AIR TO CATCH IT IN MY MOUTH BUT IT WENT TOO HIGH AND HIT THE CEILING AND THERE WAS A SPIDER THERE AND THE SPIDER FELL AND SO DID THE GRAPE AND THEY BOTH LANDED ON MY FACE AND I STILL HAVEN’T STOPPED SCREAMING
i read the first line in my head in the tune of call me maybe im so stupid
I threw a grape in the air
I went to catch it I swear
It hit a spider that fell
and now they’re on my faceFantastic.
THAT’S SO STUPID OMG
OH MY GOD ONE OF MY FAVORITE ARTISTS DID THE THING
(via thisurlwasnttakenbutnowitis)
—
do you ever sit in class during a test and flip your paper extra loud to let all the basic bitches know that you’re the beyonce of your class because i do
(via anchorsandmasonjars)
i am so jealous of europeans
three hours of travel and they’re in a whole different country, a whole different culture like seriously
three hours of travel and i’m in another town that’s just like mine
except three hours away
(Source: worldaccording, via robinlefabuleux)
I could never compose a description of myself grand enough to measure up to the real thing. #egotistical
